Blog entry for:

comfortable feelings and painful feelings. because i decide to live a program of active recovery, i no longer have to anesthetize myself to wash them away. so as i sit here this morning, feeling more than a bit off, physically anyhow, i am trying to move forward with my day. i can tell you this, when i feel like this physically, it usually gets reflected in my emotional state, and if i allow it, my spiritual state as well.
the nice part, and the HOPE i have today, is that i need not let myself go down that path. i can accept that maybe i am sick, physically and that i need to be vigilant about allowing that to creep over into how i behave. quite honestly, these days i no longer feel the need to make everyone around as miserable as i feel, and the BEST PART is i have the tools to allow myself to live up to that.
more on topic, it is quite true, i have yet to die from any sort of feeling, and i i get more days between me and my last drug use, i place less and less attachment on the relative ‘value’ of any feeling, they are simply put just feelings and they will pass, like a wave on the ocean. very few of them are tsunamis although when i first got clean they all felt like such monstrous waves.
anyhow, i need to get into the shower and accomplish a few things this morning. so while i still have the energy to do so, it is off to reality i go.

∞ DT ∞