Blog entry for:

carrying the message of the fellowship that keeps me clean is something i take no issue with at all. in fact it was this message that facilitated my decision to become a member, simply because it says that i am eligible for recovery: …an addict, ANY addict can stop using drugs, lose the desire to us and find a new way to live… i had been cross-fellowshipping for a minute and although i probably heard this when i was still using and going to meetings, it was not until i almost blew what little clean time i had, that i finally heard it. the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow is the reward of living life clean, just for today.
what w i heard however, was not an inventory about how i carry this message to my peers and those who are considering making the decision to become a member. no it was how do i serve my fellowship by carrying this message to the world at large. i can say that lately it has been pretty hit and miss, as i wounded a friend deeply than attempted to make amends by offering up some self-serving bullshit. the fact that i barely know this person and they are more an acquaintance rather than a friend, really does not matter, they see me as a friend. so owning my wrongs in this matter and letting go of finding a solution to make things better, is certainly what i heard i needed to do today.
i am already two tenths of the way to frustrated by people who are not paying attention to what i told them two days ago. i can see that this selling of my parent's home is going to be challenging, as the current resident does not seem to get that it is time to GROW the FVCK UP and get a life. anyways, i need to breathe deep, remember that i, too am an addict. the only difference between them and myself is that i have a few “just for todays” in a row, under my belt. with that in mind, i believe i will get this posted and get ready to roll on out to the cigar store for a bit of work chomping on a stogie before i have to deal with estate stuff. it is a good day to be part of a fellowship that allows me the freedom to recover, just for today.

∞ DT ∞