Blog entry for:

NO! i cannot jump inside the skin of another addict and shift their goals or decide for them what is best for them. this is especially poignant today, as i finally allowed a friend to give me a call. he is locked away because he would not listen, and as much as i or anyone else would have liked it, he refused to listen to what we were telling him, continued to act impulsively and refused to let go. the amazing part of this is, although he says he wants to take responsibility of his actions, he is still wrapped up in obsession and denial and doing his best to force his will on to another. i mean really, how many more clues does he really need? is four to twelve years really what he wants? that is what he is going to get, if he does not let go NOW!
i woke up this morning thinking of him, i read the reading and what i heard was that i have done everything i could do, i need not look to my behaviors in this situation any more, and i can move on. this situation mirrors another, what i am hearing this morning, it is time to let go those results as well. if someone choose to push themselves away from the people who love and respect them, because they think they know better, then so be it! after all, it is only my opinion and i have weighed in heavy enough about that too!
where is this going? well it goes to this. i can offer my help, my suggestions and my insight. whether or not they are accepted or not, is beyond my power. i can continue to be angry, and walk around pouting because so and so is disrespectful of me because they do not listen to what i am saying, or i can return to a perfect THIRD STEP state and let go of the results! which path leads to my serenity and towards a more sane self? the answer is more than obvious, AND i do need to say it: I CAN OFFER MY GIFT THEN LET GO, JUST FOR RIGHT NOW ANYHOW.
my denial comes not in the offering, it comes in the expectation of results and unfortunately part of who i am, expects results from my actions. letting a HIGHER POWER remove that, or diminishing my reaction to that need, feels like a herculean task, today and every day. what i am grateful for today, is that i can see that. just as i want others to accept the gifts of love i offer, so i NEED to accept the gifts of LOVE offered by the POWER that keeps me clean. so i guess i need to live in a THIRD STEP as well as a SEVENTH STEP today and allow what needs to happen, to happen from within me.
life does go on and i am feeling better today so it is off to hit the streets this morning and knock the rest of the blahs away. thank you for what all of you have given me, and perhaps i am, after all, actually listenin g to what you are trying to say.

∞ DT ∞