Blog entry for:

what i can do to help another addict. i was going to start by saying that today i realize how powerlessness comes into play here. as much as i would love to save the world, the sad fact of life, is that every addict must reach the place where they realize that they are fVcked and want to do something about it. i had a very long online interaction with someone who may be on the verge of coming back. they had time before and the changes in their personality was astounding, then they went away, in both the physical and spiritual sense. i was not feeling tip-top and my physical illness translated into a slightly spiritual malady. when what they were probably seeking was validation, i gave them a dose of brutal honesty and told them to stop making “those people” excuse for not doing what they know is the correct action ↝ getting their a$$ to a meeting. it is amazing the number of excuses and “buts” i hear from those on the edge ↝ they want something different but are unwilling to take the action to change anything. each and every time, i have to come back to this notion and readings such as the one this morning, to remember that just letting go and not buying into their bullsh!t or forcing them down the path i have traveled is the next right thing to do.
moving ahead, i just realized that whatever method i was doing to post these little missives to whoever is listening to twitter is now failing. i fllt for certain that i had written some function and now my followers are taking off for more fruitful ventures. while i was sitting around waiting for the paint to dry last night, figuratively speaking, i found a solution that i will implement this afternoon or at least over the weekend. if all go as well, and it will, even if i have to pound the app into dust to make it so, i will be tweeting again with my own twitter-bot and may even catch up a few in the testing phase.
i spoke of being physically sick, and i am. i have one of the nastiest colds i have had in quite some time. i am not one of those who run around in a state of constant illness, in fact i am hardly ever sick. to be knocked down by a cold, makes me feel so fVcking powerless that i want to SCREAM! this does not happen to me, i am different and i do not want your sympathy or pity. as i type that out, i get the sense of how familiar that sounds to me. even though i am not one of those “disease model” sort of guys, in fact i say addiction in place of disease in my shares and when i am carrying the message, i see that just as my cold is pounding me into sand and i do NOT want to accept i am powerless over it, so those who are struggling with their addiction, are saying the exact same things. the difference? my cold will pass. addiction? not so much. as i prepare to get ready to face the day, by showering and shaving i am quite sure that i could medicate away my cold symptoms and pretend to be well, or i can just suffer through them, catch an extra nap or two and allow them to pass. today i am all about being honest, so i will simply say AAACHOO❗ and it is a good day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞