Blog entry for:

to give the gift of MY recovery away, to everyone who needs it? as i was surprised to learn last week, sometimes mere abstinence is good enough for some of my peers. i have known this for quite some time, as i have many peers who work the steps once and seem to be doing okay. it just not has been my experience to have someone say they “wanted” what i had and then not do what i did to get it. so this topic came screaming around the corner and broadsided me this morning. as i sat, what kept bubbling up was the notion that maybe i did something wrong, in presenting what i have to offer. maybe i pushed too hard or my expectations were too high. the litany of my possible sins went on and on, until i remembered that i was just as, or even more resistant to doing any of the work i needed to do, to get more out of life than mere survival.
dealing with what i could not do and what was beyond my control, are things that still upset my apple-cart. i think that i have enough “recovery” that i should be a shining beacon to the still suffering addict. yeah i know, a bit of ego gone wild there. what i have come to accept is that i have enough recovery to keep on my spiritual path and when asked, “break off a piece” to share with others. i am not sure what this day will bring, as yesterday ended on a sour note. three hours of my life was wasted at T-Mobile trying to get the “deal” they offered for my Dad and i am unsure whether or not that is going to happen today. i have a lot of things i want to accomplish and if it comes down to fetching honey and my Dad's new phone, than so be it, life will go on and i do not need to get my undies in a bunch over what i cannot control.
i need to accomplish something for work, so i think i will wrap this up and allow myself the freedom to carry ONLY the message and maybe another addict will accept that gift and run headlong into a program of recovery, just for today.

∞ DT ∞