Blog entry for:

which means that i do the job at hand and, as i progress, new opportunities for improvement will present themselves. as i read this reading my mind went two entirely different directions this morning. it took a walk with the dawg to get focused, so this particular exercise is out of order this morning. what i am hearing now, after some work, after a light work out and after my quiet contemplation, is that what i NEED to have FAITH in, is the program. if allow the changes to happen, if i keep doing the work in front of me, if i keep surrendering my will, my life and my shortcomings into the care of a HIGHER POWER, i WILL become the man i desire to be. i WILL NOT have to tell everyone how great i am, as they will be able to draw their own conclusions based on the manner in which i walk my program.
man what a relief and easier softer way for me. to no longer be obsessed about how i look to who, would make my life so much easier, and yet at the same time it is one of the most frightening prospects i have ever considered. one would expect that this issue had been put to rest a long , long time ago, and if that was the case i would refer you to the reading a few days ago about how all of us progress through recovery at a different pace.
as i approach the end of my thirteenth year in recovery, i can see that this issue, has the ability to become so overwhelming to my recovery, that it may even present a reservation. good thing i am on the FIRST STEP, as i am becoming more clear about where i am going and most importantly where i want to go. this morning that is to Sam's Club, then home for some work, a massage, and then time on the patio reading my book club book. so instead of writing to fill space, i will knock this off right here and now, hop in the car and start my journey to Loveland, remembering that all i have to change today is what is up in my face and i can leave the rest alone.

∞ DT ∞