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i told one of co-workers with what my web address the other day, and this morning i am wondering what the repercussions will be. perhaps it is time to drop the pretense that i am part of the 85% and let them know, after all, i may actually be hanging around a bit longer.
speaking of hanging around, there are times, and it happens more now than ever before, where this whole concept of the new comer taking precedence over everyone else in the rooms, sticks in my craw. oh i get, addicts get clean, get some time, and disappear to live their lives, therefore welcoming the new guy assures our continued existence. as cynical as that may sound it certainly is true. i also get that i WANT to allow others to have what i have, so i am the ONE who needs to practice my 12th step and give it away, especially to the FNG. and i wholeheartedly agree with the fact that the primary purpose of any group is to carry thee message of recovery to the addict who is still suffering. BUT, and it certainly a big one, what about the still suffering addict who is already here, especially if they have some time, why should their needs get swept under the carpet, in a zeal to be warm and welcoming to the addict who just walked in, or the addict who walks in fresh from their last run, every 30 days or so.
as you can see, i am a bit passionate about this. what really gets me rolling, is someone telling me to be warm and fuzzy, because we do not want to give them any reason to go out. what a crock of sh!t! they do not need any excuse to go out, the sun came up today, is enough of one for any addict. somewhere someone got the notion into the heads of the members today that all the newcomers need to be treated with kid clothes, have to be tip-toed around and certainly should never be confronted with anything resembling the cold hard facts of life. i believe that is NOT being warm and welcoming, but rather disingenuous and setting the FNG up for a fall. as a result, i am seen as cold, distant and aloof, because i will not and do not fall over backwards to fawn off the latest addict to drag themselves off the street. perhaps that is just who i am, it really does not matter, because i do this whole recovery gig, for me, and not for anyone else. i carry a clear and concise message that when you are ready, or nearly ready we are here to take you through the toughest piece of work your will ever do in your life. if you want to spin around in and out, crying about how tough it is and NOT do anything about your problem, well i have no time for you. my minutes are measured and mostly claimed by living life to the fullest, and i refuse to squ8ander them ion someone who chooses NOT to do anything about their problem but wallow in it. and tha may be the kindest thing i can do for those who believe in the revolving door. anyhow, time to head out to work and see if i can solve the problem that kept me late at work yesterday.

∞ DT ∞