Blog entry for:

who still suffers, who just might be the newcomer in the room. HOWEVER, for all the emphasis put on the newest members, perhaps the addict who is suffering the most is not the FNG. that is not what i heard this morning and certainly not the notion i want to run with. it is certainly an idea worth consideration and when i get to attend a meeting live and in-person, i will have to examine my beliefs and attitudes around that very issue.
what i heard this morning was about paying attention to those addicts that are on the margins. it is true, that most of the time, it is the newest members who feel awkward and put-off by what they see from the members who have been around for a minute. i know that even after i was past those first ten, thirty, or sixty days, i still did not “fit in.” it is not that my peers failed to include me or rebuffed my feeble attempts to be “part of,” i just was not ready tho throw in with them and cast my lot into this recovery gig. for me, having the space to develop a desire to stay clean and become ready to accept what was being offered, was a gift. even though i saw that this recovery path seemed to work for others, i was pretty sure that it could not work for me. for me, that space was far more important than being “hammered” with kindness and consideration.
time passes and i mellow out, but the one thing that has not changed for me, is that i do not take on “projects.” i will reach out to the new guy and let them know i am available. when and if they choose to reach out, i will respond and follow their lead on how far they want to take our interaction. i understand how intimidating clean time can be, especially for those who never seem to get any. i know what it feels like to judge and be judged. today, if i get the opportunity to help out the still suffering addict, whether they have 10 minutes or ten years,. i will take it, if at all possible. i GET to be of service today, because i have chosen a manner of living that has brought me this far. through that program, i may get to make the difference between who gets connected and stays and those who choose another path. the choice is mine and perhaps i can be less of a crusty curmudgeon and welcome the new guy into the fellowship that has given me all that i have, just for today.

∞ DT ∞