๐ฌ the still-suffering addict ๐จ
Posted: Wed, May 4, 2022 06:12:46 AM
may not always be a newcomer and at times, i get put off by the way some of my peers fawn over newcomers and fall all over themselves to reach out to them. i understand and agree that thew newest of the new deserve to be warmly brought into our fellowship, but often i see one of my peers with time, who really is suffering and needs my attention. i finds time and again, that the emphasis that is put on the newcomer, often misses the point of who really needs the message carried to them. today, however, that is enough of that particular “hot topic” of mine.
listening to the quiet this morning, i heard a different theme rocket up from the depths. what i felt was a bit of anger about waking up an hour early, and having to force myself to lay in bed and pretend that nature was not calling. it added to the anger i felt when i saw my test results yesterday, and they were far from perfect. i am in the best shape i have been in, in years and yet my A1C is in the prediabetes range and my cholesterol, the bad type is at the top of the “acceptable” range. at the core of that anger is the fact that both of those “numbers” cannot be changed by any more physical activity and now i have to look to my diet and i really have been quite content being able to eat whatever i have the desire to eat. more lifestyle changes are in my future, green leafy vegetables and less take-out, looks like my fate du jour. oh i have choices and i could continue to stay stuck with the numbers i have, or over the course of the next year, take the steps to see if i can bring them down to what is considered “acceptable.” 😭 😭 😭. today i will simmer in my anger for one more day and let myself feel what i need to feel and maybe, tomorrow i will make the choice to move forward into the brave new world of nutrition.
listening to the quiet this morning, i heard a different theme rocket up from the depths. what i felt was a bit of anger about waking up an hour early, and having to force myself to lay in bed and pretend that nature was not calling. it added to the anger i felt when i saw my test results yesterday, and they were far from perfect. i am in the best shape i have been in, in years and yet my A1C is in the prediabetes range and my cholesterol, the bad type is at the top of the “acceptable” range. at the core of that anger is the fact that both of those “numbers” cannot be changed by any more physical activity and now i have to look to my diet and i really have been quite content being able to eat whatever i have the desire to eat. more lifestyle changes are in my future, green leafy vegetables and less take-out, looks like my fate du jour. oh i have choices and i could continue to stay stuck with the numbers i have, or over the course of the next year, take the steps to see if i can bring them down to what is considered “acceptable.” 😭 😭 😭. today i will simmer in my anger for one more day and let myself feel what i need to feel and maybe, tomorrow i will make the choice to move forward into the brave new world of nutrition.
∞ DT ∞