Blog entry for:

stranger to wishing things could be different, BUT, and yes it is a BIG ONE, i know if i want things to be different, i have to take action. after all, willingness without action is merely fantasy and as rich oaf a fantasy life i may have, when it comes to living in the here and now, i know what side of that toast has been buttered. i almost decided to take a bit of a nap, before i remembered that i had yet to pound out what i felt this morning, based on what i read, heard and thought.
i certainly wish i would win POWERBALL or MegaMillions. i wish i could recoup the money i sent to Mexico when i got scammed. i wish i was better about looking towards my future retirement when i was using. i wish my niece would get a clue and find the ways and means to get out of active addiction. i accept that none of that is probably going to become reality, no matter how i want it to be, even if i spend hundreds of dollars on lottery tickets, or the phone call i got the other day was the real deal and not just another scammer. being able to put those things and some of the other outlandish stuff i may fantasize about into the “not happening any time soon bucket” helps me to accept what is and what is not reality.
it is true that i dreamt of climbing Kilimanjaro and that too, seemed like it belonged in that bucket of fantastical thinking, but here i am ninety days later, about to see if i can run more than ten steps, because the descent of 14,0000 feet in two days, exacerbated a previous injury. i trained hard and saved up my pennies as well as taking out a bit of credit to make that a reality, but in truth, i never thought it was going to happen, even as i was on that eight day trek. the only reason i may be able to run soon, is because i am willing to do my PT exercises and i actually do them on a daily basis, as well as walk at least three miles a day. willingness plus action equals dreams transformed into reality. just for today, i will see what dreams i can work on and what i just need to accept will never happen, as my responsibility to myself is to take the actions necessary to make my wishes come true.

∞ DT ∞