Blog entry for:

**the newcomer is the most important person at any meeting, BECAUSE i can only keep what i have by giving it away**!
okay, i added a bit from my lifted passage, for me, it is important to remember WHY i need to consider the newcomer, rather than just doing something automatically. that statement goes hand in hand with ** IF you want what we have to OFFER and ARE WILLING TO…**
it is something i hear lacking in some of the members with whom i share my recovery these days. their focus seems to be all on the newcomer and nothing about what they have to offer and how they did it. i may be the NAZI some consider me to be, but i did not come to this life with any willingness, very little open-mindedness and even less honesty. HOWEVER, i remain in this life by doing what i need to do on a daily basis. i do remember what is what like to be the new guy, and i also remember that as i looked around the rooms i certainly was not prepared for what i found here. those who had ‘years’ clean were beyond my ken so i stuck with those who were closer to their last use. those long term members however, did not coddle me, nor were they gushing all over me to usher me into this life. those members gave me the space i needed to decide whether or not this was the place for me. they led by example and never did i feel like they were patronizing me, or telling me what i wanted to hear. although i was intimidated by those members with what seemed like impossible amounts of clean time, it was because of who i was, not who they were.
i am way off topic here, so the question at hand is am i welcoming the newcomer into my home group and recovery in general? and that answer is maybe. i do believe that i am, by sharing what i have -- based on living a program for a bit of time. i also know that i stand back from the parade a bit, and let them find their way into recovery. i have yet to come to the belief that i need to hold their hands and gently guide them to the decision to become a member, right or wrong, i am not wired to be touchy-feelie nor do i think i will ever become a warm fuzzy sort of guy. i can accept this and move on. which i think i will, what i am taking away from this little exercise this morning is that i need to remember that the newcomer is a person not a class or object, my job is to treat them with the respect any person deserves and allow them the space to be more than they are, just like those members did for me way back when. so off to the showers for me.

∞ DT ∞