* i will rely on the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery through the painful times ,
Posted: Tue, May 29, 2012 12:52:52 PM
knowing that POWER will always be there.
so this is way later and in an entirely different spot thn my original plan. my plan was to take the bus this morning and do my blog just like the good old days just over 3 weeks ago, however, the bus schedule change was not accounted for in my plan, hence, i ended up driving and am writing this at lunch.
so where i was, is not where i am, today. as i think about relying on the POWER that fules my recovery to provide for all my needs, i have the slightest bit of FEAR, after all, how can that POWER provide for me, if it turn out that something happens that i do not like? what about life on life's terms crap? what my DESIRES, DREAMS, WANTS and NEEDS? where does my will fit into any of this?
and that is the rub, it all depends on which one of my wills i happen to be talikng about. this turn into a self-will vs true-will sort of dilemma. having FAITH, at least for me, comes down to a binary decision, on each and every time i start to think about which will, will prevail. my self-will? right now, walk away and find a new contract somewhere, anywhere else. there is enough side work to tide me over. true will, allow whatever is going to happen to happen, and do my best to hang on to this opportunity. true will prevails, time to sign-off and head back to work.
it is a great day to be clean and i have stuff to do as well.
so this is way later and in an entirely different spot thn my original plan. my plan was to take the bus this morning and do my blog just like the good old days just over 3 weeks ago, however, the bus schedule change was not accounted for in my plan, hence, i ended up driving and am writing this at lunch.
so where i was, is not where i am, today. as i think about relying on the POWER that fules my recovery to provide for all my needs, i have the slightest bit of FEAR, after all, how can that POWER provide for me, if it turn out that something happens that i do not like? what about life on life's terms crap? what my DESIRES, DREAMS, WANTS and NEEDS? where does my will fit into any of this?
and that is the rub, it all depends on which one of my wills i happen to be talikng about. this turn into a self-will vs true-will sort of dilemma. having FAITH, at least for me, comes down to a binary decision, on each and every time i start to think about which will, will prevail. my self-will? right now, walk away and find a new contract somewhere, anywhere else. there is enough side work to tide me over. true will, allow whatever is going to happen to happen, and do my best to hang on to this opportunity. true will prevails, time to sign-off and head back to work.
it is a great day to be clean and i have stuff to do as well.
∞ DT ∞