Blog entry for:

greet the difficult times with a sense of hope, despite my pain.
there are certainly times, when i could just let go and accept the concept of GOD, that is provided through religious traditions. there are times when i envy those who do. those times are generally when nothing is going the way i want to, and i could then fall back on the whole “mysterious ways” concept and move on. what i am actually seeking when i get into that frame of mind, is not necessarily the comfort of that belief system, but rather an easier, softer way for me to roll. okay, i am not saying that anyone, who follows a religious path is lazy, or seeking an easier softer way, you have found your path and it is not any better or worse than mine, at least in my not so humble opinion. the derision i once looked upon those spiritual paths with, is no longer a strong operating variable in my life. i respect your choices and am ready to move back into mine.
as i was saying FOR ME, growing my FAITH is a long and arduous task, but one that has consequences beyond my wildest dreams. today i have the FREEDOM to seek guidance in the only source i can rely on, 24-7, namely the POWER that fuels my recovery. a friend on mine says he gets voice-mails every day, from his HIGHER POWER, and i understand exactly what that may mean. i too, get voice-mails, but they are in the voices of my peers, my family, my acquaintances and the random people i encounter in my daily travails. the POWER that fuels my recovery, allows me to glimpse part of the big picture, through my interactions with others, my job is to be awake enough to pay attention to what it is, that i am being told. so in times of trouble, when i just need a friend, i have FAITH that IF i pay attention, i will have the opportunity to get exactly what i need, right then and there. none of this asking others to pray for me, or playing the “whatever i ask for in prayer” card. no i have to be active and yes even proactive in my life, seeking out the answers and letting go of my notions as to where i will find them.
my journey to this place in my spiritual program assiduously avoided the tried and true. when i stopped thinking for myself and allowed myself to “borrow” the spiritual path of another, i felt cheap and dirty. i am grateful, that i grew beyond that, over time. what i have today is the FAITH to know that times that are not to my liking, events that i judge to be bad and outcomes that i do NOT appreciate, are juts part of living in the real world. wrapping them up in mystery or as part of some unknown plan, could provide me some relief, in the here and now, but in the long run, it will fail to provide me any relief. only letting go and allowing my will and my life to be cared for by the POWER that fuels my recovery, will suffice. for me, that FAITH is both necessary and sufficient, to carry on, stay clean and allow the next right thing to be revealed to me today.
which it looks like, it is time to shower off, and head on out to earn my keep, just for today, and yes i am grateful for the opportunity to have a job and a career that allows me to be free as well.

∞ DT ∞