Blog entry for:

encourages me to look positively at life.
la-dee-dah!
spin everything in a positive direction.
view life through the rose colored glasses and ignore all that is not perfect and beautiful.
or so a cynic, may interpret the reading today. honestly, being judgmental was one of the things that saved my life and continues to do so, today. when an addict shares that they are feeling uncomfortable because they cannot shut down the internal judge, jury and executioner, i understand. me, i have learn to accept that is who i am, and that i am without any power to control that part of me. easy as pie, as the cliché goes. what have i been taught to do, with the stuff i am powerless over? surrender it into the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery and let go. i am not, as i often share, powerless over how i behave WHEN i feel a certain way, for example, judgmental. here the POWER that fuels my recovery, provides me a choice. whether or not i act out, in all sorts less than stellar ways or just walk the talk and allow my recovery to act, is the choice i have been given by the SIXTH and SEVENTH STEPS. today i understand that being judgmental is no cause for discomfort. allowing my first impressions to form an opinion, is also something that saved my bacon more than once, what is new and different, and what i heard in the reading this morning, is that if i allow that my first impression may be in error, i can learn about someone and who knows what sort of relationship i may end up having. in fact, admitting that i may be wrong, even to myself, is tough and does not get any easier over time. what does get easier is practicing the principle of open-mindedness, and that is what i really got from the reading this morning. yes i may be a judgmental prick, but that does not mean i have to keep those opinions formed in a snap. my talks is to continue to allow myself the freedom to get to know someone, better, without filtering all that they say and do, through that initial, possibly erroneous judgement. great work when i can do it.
anyhow, i need to get rolling down the road, there is little pain in my mouth today, and i have had the last of my extractions done, so my dental amends, are getting close to the end, right now. yes, i felt like getting a freebie last night, by manufacturing more pain than i already had, and taking a trip to the ER, or worse calling someone on the fringe, to hook me up. instead i ate, took the NSAID i was prescribed and went to bed, and today i am still honestly clean, instead of lurking in the shadows, wondering how long before someone finds out. so judge away, i am grateful that i could write something like that and feel no shame at all. it just goes to show you, clean time may speak for itself, but active recovery will always drive me to make the next right decision, when i allow it to.

∞ DT ∞