Blog entry for:

at life, in my not so humble opinion, is living in a lie. making the judgement whether something, some behavior, some event or some reaction, is positive or negative and pitching the negative into the bit bucket, is not a very healthy manner in which to live. of course, many will disagree with me, especially those who believe that “bad” or “unpleasant” stuff happen because one considers and thinks about such things. they are “'manifest” because one believes that they will be. being someone who does not believe in “divine” plans or destiny, i live my life in awareness of what might go wrong and make plans contingent on the possibilities that i can see. i see nothing wrong in living that sort of life and i believe that the only thing i am entitled to, is Social Security, because i have nearly reached that age. everything else in my life, is the result of work, planning and living an active program of recovery.
i attempt to see people in a similar light, a amalgamation of “positive” and “negative” that comprise the whole. i also feel that judging a behavior, one way or another is not something i need to avoid, as long as i do not use that judgement to drop someone into a nice neat box that does not allow for any further investigation. using someone's behaviors to define them is a practice i am very familiar with and one that still pops-up in my life today. today, i really want to give them the benefit of the doubt and see them for being more than a set of undesirable and intolerable behaviors. that is, however, still a work in progress and as i grow in my recovery, i will certainly get better at living there, instead of the alternative. i strive to allow others to be themselves and see them as a whole, rather than a 𔄢self-willed asshole who is oblivious to the world around them.”
so it is off to the streets to get a workout under my sneakers and burn off the oatmeal and add-ins that comprise my daily breakfast. it is a good day to be clean, to get some yard work done, to help my partner with her project and to sit and smoke in a social setting, to watch a bit of basketball. i can do all of that and more, if i allow myself the freedom just to be and see what enfolds as this day progresses.

∞ DT ∞