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misunderstood the behavior of another? okay i have to admit it, i really did try last night. i had more respect for the recovery thief who came to tell the group fVck you very much, but i would rather live in my cross-fellowship fantasy land than live a REAL program without the use of drug replacement therapy, than for the bumper sticker parrot of the royal we.like dude, we may recovery but I work a program of recovery, and maybe YOU should try to do so as well. i did my best to be tolerant, respectful and not judge, but with so much ammunition, it was really hard. seriously i live in the real world, not some made up fantasy world. i go to work, i pay my bills, i work steps and i do my level best to live a self-supported life in recovery. to be told what “WE” NEED to do, by a person who does not support or their progeny, just runs me the wrong way, time and again. it is very easy to sleep until noon, then go use your food stamps and WIC entitlements to provide for your daily bread, and have some one else raise your kids, oh yeah when the mood strikes, attend your online classes for a degree program that means absolutely nothing in the real world. i mean WTF, is that a judgement? you bet your sweet ass that is, and more than likely a valid one. not that i have a hard life, i mean i went to school and am within a few months of being rid of my student loan debt. i work every day and yet i drive a 12 year old car. when i go on vacation it is on my own dime, the dimes i EARN, because recovery gave me a means of supporting myself, and encouraged me to do so. i could finally stand up and be counted among the real world instead of the gray fantasy world of active addiction. do not get me wrong, i would NOT trade places with that other addict for one second. my point is that if someone like that wants to advise me on what i should or NEED to do, they better get out and try their hand at real life. of course, whether this little rant gets read by someone that may need to hear it is not relevant. i am tired of hearing what a fVcking victim some people consider themselves to be. in truth, if you want to have friends, be a friend. if you want to be respected, act respectfully. and if you want others to see how well your program works, shut the fVck up and show us, through your deeds.
as i sat between two addicts, who i actually do respect and find have something to offer me last night, i began to wonder what it would take for the victims and the bleeding deacons, to get that getting your life to FIT the program is what this is all about. for me recovery is not a buffet, it is an all i can eat 12 course meal,. but each course is served from the exact same recipe book, and although it may be flavored differently each time i start the meal over again, it does not vary. for me, this is the path to enlightenment, to nirvana and yes to heaven. the best part? i need not shuffle off this mortal coil, to get my reward. that reward is that i GET to live clean and have the opportunity to be more than i was yesterday, just for today. speaking of which, it really is time to get rolling towards getting my daily dime, and if i offended you with my rant, call your fVcking sponsor, because you probably need to.

∞ DT ∞