Blog entry for:

others as potential friends and fellow travelers. okay, i take a bit of an exception to the gist of this reading, for a few reasons. the first and foremost is that judgement and sussing out people and situations is a human characteristic. ceasing to judge, means living in the ignorance of ignoring my experience. the reading seems to be telling me to live in a fantasy world where everyone i come in contact with, is trustworthy, honest, open-minded and ethical. the fact is, the world is filled with people that have different agendas than i do, some of them are complementary most may or may not be, and a quick spot judgement may prevent me from doing something i regret. just because i judge, it does not necessarily follow that i pigeon-hole and stereotype, in fact i am struggling with seeing exactly how biased and prejudiced i am and it is more than a bit disconcerting that i am not nearly as “evolved,” as would like to think that i am. i am struggling with coming to terms with what i perceive and what is the reality of who and what i am. so the question is how do i reconcile who i am with who i want to be.
the reading does suggest a course of action. looking at my judgements as opinions formed before i gather all the evidence and assuming that they may be wrong, is the first part of this process for me. for me, the fatal flaw is trying to assign motives to the behaviors of others, or delve into causes and conditions. the plain fact is that i simply do not know WHY someone is behaving one way or another, assuming i have some insight into their behavior is not the same as making a judgement. the behaviors of others are just that, behaviors. if i see someone constantly lying, stealing and manipulating, i am certainly going to form an opinion of them, and more than likely it will not be one that falls on the “positive” side of the spectrum. that does not mean that they are unworthy of my time and attention, just not my wallet or credit card. i certainly get a kick out of those on the fringes or who keep trying this out for a few days and then whine about how everyone is judging them and that we are all hypocrites. yet, they keep coming back and keep trying to work their manipulative magic on the very members who are their biggest backers.
i know this from the experience of the not too distant path. when i refused to cave in and use my credit card to provide lodging for a night. somehow it became my problem that they had not figured out a way to reach out and use the resources they were given. for once, i acted as an adult, and refused to be cajoled and bullied into doing something i did not want to do. i formed a judgement based on the visible behavior of someone else, and <BOOM> now they are gone. do i consider that person a “b ad” or someone who us unworthy of my time and resources? not at all, i do see that i NEEDED to change the nature and tone of our relationship and finally stop being worried about whether or not i was well-liked or even respected. the fact is, based on the behavior of this “friend” i was neither liked nor respected, at least not with any sincerity or genuine feeling, i was simply a means to an end.
today, it is true, i may judge the behaviors of others. today it is also true that i know that behaviors do not necessarily tell me what sort of person i am observing. what i take away for the reading is not to suspend my spot judgements, but to suspend my desire to explain, pigeon-hole and walk away. stopping that process at judgement and allowing myself the freedom to see who someone really is, that is what i take away from this reading into my day. life is far too short to automatically eliminate everyone from my life who fails to meet my twisted code of conduct, 100% of the time. my world would be rather small and dreary, if i allowed that to be the case.
will i stop judging the behaviors of others? perhaps some day.
can i stop judging the character of others, based sole upon a single observed behavior? that i can and will do, just for today.

∞ DT ∞