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judging each event in my daily life as good or bad has long been a part of my daily routine. when i was in active addiction, every thing that did not go exactly as i wanted was a bad thing, and when i could manipulate, control or force a situation to have the outcome i desired, it was a good thing.
in early recovery, this pattern persisted even after working a step or three. i still looked at ‘bad&rsqou; events as an indication that i was missing some essential ingredient to make my life as smooth as possible. when something ‘good’ that was indicative that i was on the right track. i evaluated each event as a sign from GOD as to how well i was traveling the path of recovery.
over time, i finally have come to the realization that life just IS! each event in my daily life is just that, another event, not a sign nor punishment just another in a series of events that constitute my life.
this does not by any stretch of the imagination imply that i have given up entirely on the whole judging events in my life gig. i am still a human and want to judge, evaluate and twist over the daily sequence of life. however, i try to review my daily life and look for places where i have any sort of power and evaluate if my behavior or attitude was at the root of an event that occurred that i deem was less than satisfactory. as i have some power over my behavior and attitudes, i can make progress surrendering my shortcomings to GOD. and those events over which i have absolutely no power over; which quite honestly, is just about everything that happens in my life, i look to see if i learned anything to carry forward or if i missed the opportunity to grow once more.
i still can twist and bitch about what does not go my way and label such events as ‘bad’, but this is a process and not an event, so all i can hope is to do better today and leave the rest where it belongs in GOD‘s capable hands.
∞ DT ∞