Blog entry for:

a positive outlook on life, regardless of what may be happening around me. as i sit here this morning, preparing for the treacherous drive over to Boulder, i am struck by the irony of the seed i chose. here i am the goth cheerleader, comfortable in my cynicism, wanting to look at life through a positive spin, or at least that is what it looks like from a surface analysis. what is really going on, and what i heard from the reading this morning, is that life may not be a bowl of cherries, but it certainly is not the sh!tpile i once thought it was. yes, i can take a fresh look at what is going on, the rain just keeps coming, roads all over my neck of the woods are close, bridges are out and i now live smack dab in the middle of a federal disaster zone. HOWEVER, my house is dry, my basement does not have water in it, no one i love has been washed away or lost everything and best of all, i am clean today. yes when it comes down to that, one of the gifts that recovery has given me, is the ability to face that fact and be content, grateful and even happy that is still a fact of my life. the last two meetings i made were in detention facilities, and when i take a peek at that, it certainly was a very good way for this addict to bracket his vacation. not only did i take a vacation from work, the grid, the news and my day to day life, i took a vacation from recovery, and the results were beginning to leak through to other areas in my life. today, as i was sitting quietly, restarting my daily program of recovery, i see that, as an addict in recovery, brief vacations from recovery are possible, especially when coupled with actual vacations, but to do anything more, well, that will lead me to a very unstable place in my life. stability, emotionally and spiritually, is something i have come to expect and after some days clean, i can even accept that for me, the only way to keep my ships from being rocked, as in friendships and relationships, is to reach for and accept the tools of recovery that i have been given.
on that note, i do believe i will jump in the shower and see if i can make it to work. for whatever reason, if that fails, i do have a plan B, i have my work laptop with me, so i will be able to work from home. it is a good day to be a part of this life and i think i will do my best to be a part of it, life that is!

∞ DT ∞