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i do not, as some of my peers do, post a whole bunch of the daily reading on FaceBook. i cannot speak to their motivations for doing so, but i know why i do not, the traditions and being overtly identified as a person connected to a specific twelve step fellowship. it is true, those who know me, know what these little posts are about, and those who do not but are in or around recovery can certainly tell as well. the reason i do not copy and paste the readings is simple, when i do so, get identified as a member of that fellowship, i become an advertisement for that fellowship, and my behavior then becomes a distraction to what the fellowship can give to another. rightly or wrongly, the entire fellowship is then judged based upon what i have written or said, so a bit of mystery and anonymity is called for, here and on FaceBook, at least for me.
well it has been quite some time since I started this, so the whole point about traditions and anonymity is now lost. what I am “feeling” right now, is that this whole topic is really about how I interact with the POWER that fuels my recovery as well as with my peers, friends and family members, on the interwebs and in person. i am by no means and in no way, shape or form, so sort of placid, spiritual giant that rides my emotions as a pro surfer, cresting the waves when i need to and going along for the ride when i can. i am better these days than i used to be, and certainly as time goes by, i find more and more that emotions are a consequence of staying clean and certainly need not be “handled.” no, the emotional balance i have been getting is a function of tolerance, acceptance and gratitude for having feelings these days. when i start to see these as gifts, instead of a bane to my existence, i GET to get some balance in my emotional life. meditation is my primary means of connecting with that POWER, so the whole asking part, feels foreign to me, but listening seems to be second nature these days. so on that note, i think i will get back to being present.

∞ DT ∞