โ one of the greatest of the gifts in my recovery, โ
Posted: Thu, Jan 30, 2014 09:13:18 AM
is the spiritual awakening that begins when i stopped using.
well, maybe not in that moment, for me, i doubt i had much of an awakening for quite some time. that is beside the point.
after an abortive start, i am back at this.
on my drive over to Boulder, i did not however consider what i would write today. no my mind was on what i needed to do, just in case the weather gurus are correct and there really was six to ten inches of snow at my house tomorrow morning. unlike those unfortunate people in Atlanta, who ignored what they were being told, i understand the difference between a watch and a warning, that does not mean, i plan on being stuck at home, but it does mean i take an extra precaution or three.
which brings me back to the topic. i know that the fellowship was here, because someone, way back when, realized that people like me, could never make it in a fellowship that deals in a single substance, no matter how loving, kind and caring they may be. those early members had a spiritual awakening that somewhere down the line, someone just like them, may need something different and they created it. as tiny as this fellowship was in my hometown, when i got here, i had a similar awakening, plus what i heard twelve miles away, was not what i wanted. laziness and yes a bit of a restatement, allowed me the clarity of mind, to do what i could to get the fellowship up and running, right where i live. there was HIGHER POWER looking out for us, as we did everything wrong, but the fellowship as small as it was, survived my self-will and today is growing more ginormous every day. even though my home group is now over in that city twelve miles to the southwest, i feel that maybe i am not doing enough to give away what i was so freely given over the course of my recovery. and then i look to what i did over the past 24 and it seems that yes i am doing what i can. i got to share last night that a 30 day county jail sentence does not need to devolve into a felony with a trip through the Colorado Department of Corrections. i got to give one of the men i sponsor, some guidance about what is and what is not life on life's terms and this morning GET to give an addict a call and wish him a great day. all this and so much more, just because i decided this morning that today was a great day, not to dip into my pharmacopoeia and see what i could dredge up. as tempting as that sounds from time to time, it is not what i am about today. so what is the message i am carrying right now? that because i stay clean and because i have learned to be present for what life has to offer, i can have the freedom to worry about what the weather gods may bring overnight tonight and do my best to adapt to something i have no power over, hey not that much unlike addiction!
well, maybe not in that moment, for me, i doubt i had much of an awakening for quite some time. that is beside the point.
after an abortive start, i am back at this.
on my drive over to Boulder, i did not however consider what i would write today. no my mind was on what i needed to do, just in case the weather gurus are correct and there really was six to ten inches of snow at my house tomorrow morning. unlike those unfortunate people in Atlanta, who ignored what they were being told, i understand the difference between a watch and a warning, that does not mean, i plan on being stuck at home, but it does mean i take an extra precaution or three.
which brings me back to the topic. i know that the fellowship was here, because someone, way back when, realized that people like me, could never make it in a fellowship that deals in a single substance, no matter how loving, kind and caring they may be. those early members had a spiritual awakening that somewhere down the line, someone just like them, may need something different and they created it. as tiny as this fellowship was in my hometown, when i got here, i had a similar awakening, plus what i heard twelve miles away, was not what i wanted. laziness and yes a bit of a restatement, allowed me the clarity of mind, to do what i could to get the fellowship up and running, right where i live. there was HIGHER POWER looking out for us, as we did everything wrong, but the fellowship as small as it was, survived my self-will and today is growing more ginormous every day. even though my home group is now over in that city twelve miles to the southwest, i feel that maybe i am not doing enough to give away what i was so freely given over the course of my recovery. and then i look to what i did over the past 24 and it seems that yes i am doing what i can. i got to share last night that a 30 day county jail sentence does not need to devolve into a felony with a trip through the Colorado Department of Corrections. i got to give one of the men i sponsor, some guidance about what is and what is not life on life's terms and this morning GET to give an addict a call and wish him a great day. all this and so much more, just because i decided this morning that today was a great day, not to dip into my pharmacopoeia and see what i could dredge up. as tempting as that sounds from time to time, it is not what i am about today. so what is the message i am carrying right now? that because i stay clean and because i have learned to be present for what life has to offer, i can have the freedom to worry about what the weather gods may bring overnight tonight and do my best to adapt to something i have no power over, hey not that much unlike addiction!
∞ DT ∞