ยฟ what in the world can i do ?
Posted: Thu, Oct 13, 2016 07:39:35 AM
once again, i come to the make the world a little better by being a little better reading. some days, it just seems hard to have anything original, pithy or worthwhile to contribute to a topic. for me this is one of those no-brainer kind of notions, i can change the world by being a bit kinder and a bit more courteous. just by me doing so, the “butterfly effect,” takes affects those oi touch and my act of kindness, gets multiplied out as it spreads like a virus through the general population. nice work when you can get it, but on the other hand, it costs me very little to join this Kum-By-Yah moment and walk with a kinder intent.
so cynicism aside, i get the notion that is being expressed here and i can see some of it in effect, starting the day i got clean. amazingly, once i stopped using, the world was a better place,. incrementally so, but better nevertheless. as i stay clean and learn to live a program of active recovery, i cause less strife, discord and chaos, because i do NOT do what i have always done, at least most of the time. yes i am full of qualifiers today, and as always, when i deal with moral issues, i need to dwell in the grey areas and avoid speaking of the extremes.there certainly is only one absolute in my life, the binary determination of whether or not i am clean. i either am or am not. just about everything else, is up for interpretation. it was interesting to hear one of our recovery “tourists” share last night how they were approaching two years clean, when up until they had been speaking about double digit abstinence. back in the day, when i was a recovery tourist, i played a similar game, the difference may have been measure in weeks and months, but the idea was the same, dishonestly putting forward, something i was not, and tap dancing around the issue, with the lies to myself called justifications and rationalizations. that share, despite all the tap-dancing about intentions, got me considering what am i fronting today and what harm am i creating because i lack the backbone to be honest. in my TENTH STEP last night, i considered how i have put some distance between myself and one of my peers. the distance is probably not a bad thing, but if i get called on to explain, can i truly explain without any spiritual camouflage why i feel the way i do? the fact is, that there really is not rational explanation, as i have only “heard” and seen for myself very little. as i walk through today, i am quite sure that this notion will be percolating through my unconscious self and the process of resolution will be completed. right here and right now, i have to let it sit at that.
will i be letting cars cut in front of me, on my way to work, most likely not. can i smile and be pleasant to those i interact with today, more than likely i can. it is a good day to be clean and be just a little bit kinder, just because it was suggested i do so.
so cynicism aside, i get the notion that is being expressed here and i can see some of it in effect, starting the day i got clean. amazingly, once i stopped using, the world was a better place,. incrementally so, but better nevertheless. as i stay clean and learn to live a program of active recovery, i cause less strife, discord and chaos, because i do NOT do what i have always done, at least most of the time. yes i am full of qualifiers today, and as always, when i deal with moral issues, i need to dwell in the grey areas and avoid speaking of the extremes.there certainly is only one absolute in my life, the binary determination of whether or not i am clean. i either am or am not. just about everything else, is up for interpretation. it was interesting to hear one of our recovery “tourists” share last night how they were approaching two years clean, when up until they had been speaking about double digit abstinence. back in the day, when i was a recovery tourist, i played a similar game, the difference may have been measure in weeks and months, but the idea was the same, dishonestly putting forward, something i was not, and tap dancing around the issue, with the lies to myself called justifications and rationalizations. that share, despite all the tap-dancing about intentions, got me considering what am i fronting today and what harm am i creating because i lack the backbone to be honest. in my TENTH STEP last night, i considered how i have put some distance between myself and one of my peers. the distance is probably not a bad thing, but if i get called on to explain, can i truly explain without any spiritual camouflage why i feel the way i do? the fact is, that there really is not rational explanation, as i have only “heard” and seen for myself very little. as i walk through today, i am quite sure that this notion will be percolating through my unconscious self and the process of resolution will be completed. right here and right now, i have to let it sit at that.
will i be letting cars cut in front of me, on my way to work, most likely not. can i smile and be pleasant to those i interact with today, more than likely i can. it is a good day to be clean and be just a little bit kinder, just because it was suggested i do so.
∞ DT ∞