ยฟ do i want to change the world ?
Posted: Sat, Oct 13, 2012 08:03:51 AM
an interesting topic, and one that i have written on many times before. the truly amazing part of this reading, is that it was written down and published long before Oprah and the Hollywood got a hold of it and commercialized it. this topic, in and of itself is more than worthy of my attention BUT, and yes it is a big one, there really is no new insight or depth i can add other than agreeing and then the clichés and bumper stickers start to fly. so at the risk of being terse, i will say that i will do my best to foster a better world, by being randomly kind to those i run across in the course of my day today.
what popped into my mind, in the spirit of the reading but far from the subject matter was the hope i felt last night when an addict said he was glad to hear my voice. he is always glad to hear my voice when he is where he happens to be right now, and the fact that his insanity keeps returning him to that place is more than a bit distressing. he is at the edge of what HOPE i can feel for him,. as he wants to be the big kahuna in the absolutely wrong crowd for any person who sincerely wants to lose the desire to use. the question i am dying to run off and ask my sponsor, is: “do i continue to have HOPE and keep doing what i have been doing, or do i just walk away and let him seek his own path, with or without recovery?”
certainly an apt question, and one that while is on my mind, i am not consumed by it. the answer i keep getting is just wait, as there needs to be no decision on my part today, after all, his overhead cost just got a whole lot smaller for me. in fact, the chances of him using have gone down and his actual chance at coming to believe he is worth more than a prison cell has increased, however marginally. that is not my stuff and today, i am getting a sense of urgency about being diligent about separating my stuff from that of everyone else. once again, i feel STEP SIX working me over and once again, i surrender to the fact that if i WANT more than i have got in the past, than i MUST surrender to the changes that are the SIXTH STEP, just for today.
so after a week of work, it is time to shower off, suit up and get some more work done, i am grateful for what i have been given and all i have to do, is do my best to stay on the path of recovery and live a program, everything else, will be taken care of in its own time and according to its own manner, with very little effort on my part. so yes i will remember bto pay it forward today and not expect anyone to notice.
what popped into my mind, in the spirit of the reading but far from the subject matter was the hope i felt last night when an addict said he was glad to hear my voice. he is always glad to hear my voice when he is where he happens to be right now, and the fact that his insanity keeps returning him to that place is more than a bit distressing. he is at the edge of what HOPE i can feel for him,. as he wants to be the big kahuna in the absolutely wrong crowd for any person who sincerely wants to lose the desire to use. the question i am dying to run off and ask my sponsor, is: “do i continue to have HOPE and keep doing what i have been doing, or do i just walk away and let him seek his own path, with or without recovery?”
certainly an apt question, and one that while is on my mind, i am not consumed by it. the answer i keep getting is just wait, as there needs to be no decision on my part today, after all, his overhead cost just got a whole lot smaller for me. in fact, the chances of him using have gone down and his actual chance at coming to believe he is worth more than a prison cell has increased, however marginally. that is not my stuff and today, i am getting a sense of urgency about being diligent about separating my stuff from that of everyone else. once again, i feel STEP SIX working me over and once again, i surrender to the fact that if i WANT more than i have got in the past, than i MUST surrender to the changes that are the SIXTH STEP, just for today.
so after a week of work, it is time to shower off, suit up and get some more work done, i am grateful for what i have been given and all i have to do, is do my best to stay on the path of recovery and live a program, everything else, will be taken care of in its own time and according to its own manner, with very little effort on my part. so yes i will remember bto pay it forward today and not expect anyone to notice.
∞ DT ∞