Blog entry for:

this morning, after a night when my brain did not shut-off for the duration, i am a bit **out of sorts.** of course what i read this morning, spoke to me about being better than i think i am and allowing myself the FREEDOM, to feel the spiritual connection that i have fostered across the course of my recovery journey. as yippy-skippy as that may sound, i am resisting what i know is the next right thing to do, and having the desire to say fVck it all and just act out. the only thing that is stopping me, is that it is far too early to do anything of consequence, so i put down in bits and bytes what is going on with me, in the hope that i release this particular “demon.”
last night i had to deal with some of my neighbors who seem to feel that bullying, blustering and diverting is a proper course of action when working on a committee. the chair of that committee sent me an e-mail asking what they need to do, to rein things in and i am still considering my answer, as i am at a loss in this matter as well. i know if something does not change, the end result will mean more strife and less harmony, in my life and these days i am not about the chaos at all. well most of the time anyhow. 😝 the question that i am face is how to give advice that will help build consensus, rather than getting someone to comply. i have learned how to “herd cats” in my service experience in the fellowship, so now i guess i get to have the chance to apply that know;ledge to the so-called real world and a group of “normies.”
just to top that all off, i now cannot get outside to workout, as there are issues at work i need to be present for. here is where i can whine about how fVcked this day is and go off on the idiocy of some of the people i support. the fact of the matter is that i can run and walk later, but i am one of those who hates having his routine altered by external events. as much as i hate to admit that i am a slave to routine, i really am. the fact is, today will be a good day to let go of what i cannot control and be aware that i am paid to provide a level of service to my clients and that salary keeps a roof over my head and food in my belly. being cool with what is going on,. is the next right thing for this addict to do.

∞ DT ∞