Blog entry for:

well once again i went to bed angry and woke up the same way. and this morning i know the reason at least for this latest bout -- i did not let go of something that does not need to addressed today. i went to bed living out of FAITH and in a fit of passion for an issue. so when the reading talked about surrender being like infatuation and acceptance being like love, i think they forgot about one part -- passion.
exactly how passion fits into that equation i am currently pondering. i would like to think that passion comes after i learned to how to live the program. somewhere between infatuation and love but that does not seem correct either.
i know that this addict has surrendered to the fact that the disease of addiction can only be mitigated by THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS. the problem i seem to be having is living in the FAITH that, that same POWER is taking care of me, my fellow addicts and the fellowship that gave me a new life. while i have a strong opinion or two, to say the least, i will get my chance to ex[press that opinion and if i choose to let that same POWER guide the results of the group conscience towards a spiritual solution. in other words i have to once again let go and have FAITH that what is needed will be accomplished and what is i desire may not be the correct action. simple? of course! easy? not by a long shot!
which brings me back to the original reading, perhaps i should look at my passion being akin to jealousy. it arises from something good and pure such as love and gets distorted by me into a sick behavior.
so what is this blog really all about this morning? me learning to let go (surrender) and allowing a POWER GREATER THAN ME to work in my life (acceptance). after all i try to work a FAITH based program these days and when i walk in FAITH and ACCEPTENCE i am a much better person to be around.
∞ DT ∞