Blog entry for:

well all week the focus of what has been going on has been all this stuff about my relationship with the divine. or perhaps it has just been how i have been interpreting it. anyhow what is going on this morning is more of an internal thing and an examination of my relationships with those i share a place with in the mundane world. not that the people with whom i have built intimate relationships are mundane, quite the opposite, but i prefer the term mundane to profane when comparing and contrasting the "real world" with the part of life that is beyond my physical senses. but once again i digress...
so today a major shift has finished inside, no longer do i feel like i have been tested, nor do i feel that more is going on than i can handle. today i am finally ready to face the world as i am and be honest about what i am feeling in the moment. the trick will be to not express that honesty aggressively, arrogantly or painfully as i am more than capable of doing. what i feel happening inside is a change on a scale that i have not felt since i first got clean, those reservations about surrendering my will and my life have been exploded into nothingness, or at least it feels that way today. the fears and doubts i have been having about my life and my recovery have diminished into a little black speck on my psyche. the fact that i have to run a set of tasks that did not run overnight is actually pretty irrelevant right now, they are almost finished and i am almost done waxing poetically about the nature of life, the universe and everything.
so i get to run through my day working on intimacy, letting go of the behaviors of those around me and doing all that i can do the live the principles of recovery. not a bad set of tasks for today, and a task list i think i can live with!
∞ DT ∞