Some memes

well all week the focus of what has been going on has been all this stuff about my relationship with the divine. or perhaps it has just been how i have been interpreting it. anyhow what is going on this morning is more of an internal thing and an examination of my relationships with those i share a place with in the mundane world. not that the people with whom i have built intimate relationships are mundane, quite the opposite, but i prefer the term mundane to profane when comparing and contrasting the "real world" with the part of life that is beyond my physical senses. but once again i digress...
so today a major shift has finished inside, no longer do i feel like i have been tested, nor do i feel that more is going on than i can handle. today i am finally ready to face the world as i am and be honest about what i am feeling in the moment. the trick will be to not express that honesty aggressively, arrogantly or painfully as i am more than capable of doing. what i feel happening inside is a change on a scale that i have not felt since i first got clean, those reservations about surrendering my will and my life have been exploded into nothingness, or at least it feels that way today. the fears and doubts i have been having about my life and my recovery have diminished into a little black speck on my psyche. the fact that i have to run a set of tasks that did not run overnight is actually pretty irrelevant right now, they are almost finished and i am almost done waxing poetically about the nature of life, the universe and everything.
so i get to run through my day working on intimacy, letting go of the behaviors of those around me and doing all that i can do the live the principles of recovery. not a bad set of tasks for today, and a task list i think i can live with!
∞ DT ∞