โช to share my innermost self with others โช
Posted: Fri, Nov 30, 2012 10:16:34 AM
i must first have an idea of what that innermost self is truly like. this looks like it is going to be a very long day. my fellow developer is just not getting it and i am on the cusp of just walking away. i know that i will not do it, so i just have to be patient and see what happens over the next 4 days. yes, stuff is happening that may or may not affect my current work situation.
none of this however, has much to do with knowing myself, so i can be myself and show that true self to others, or DOES IT? i mean i walked into my last interview confident in what i knew and i do believe i displayed my competency without being boorish. when i was tired last night, and sitting at a meeting, i resisted the temptation to pull out my phone and STOP PAYING ATTENTION. sitting here this morning, i took a quicky side job, even though the weekend is full of work already. quite honestly, this morning i feel a little overwhelmed and running way behind where i want to be it is nine o'clock and i ma just writing this blog. do you want to know a secret, this morning i just do not care. i know what i have to do and i know what i have done and all in all, i can comfortably state, that all is well in my little corner of the world.
the ironic part of this reading, at least as i see it is, that i said the exact same thing to another addict a month ago, when asked what i thought about him being in a relationship with very little clean time. so now the microscope is turned back on me.
the reading speaks of inventories and doe use the plural form there, but what i am discovering is that endless inventories are not effective, unless, i take what i find and move forward in the process of change. i have whittles my list of character defects down to a single one, and now all i have to do, is finish my assignment and make an appointment with my sponse, to move on. my part, is to make sure that i have not identified a feeling and if it is a feeling, than to dig a bit deeper to find the belief or attitude causing that feeling. it certainly was evident when i writing about finding the care of a HIGHER POWER yesterday, and i am sure it will become even clearer as i let go, surrender this defect into the care of that POWER.
so before it gets much later, i will say that this journey of uncovery to discover the real person inside this skin, has certainly been interesting of late. as i move into STEP SEVEN, i doubt that it will get any less interesting as the process continues. so off to the shower and back to work, to see how much i can really accomplish as this day goes on.
none of this however, has much to do with knowing myself, so i can be myself and show that true self to others, or DOES IT? i mean i walked into my last interview confident in what i knew and i do believe i displayed my competency without being boorish. when i was tired last night, and sitting at a meeting, i resisted the temptation to pull out my phone and STOP PAYING ATTENTION. sitting here this morning, i took a quicky side job, even though the weekend is full of work already. quite honestly, this morning i feel a little overwhelmed and running way behind where i want to be it is nine o'clock and i ma just writing this blog. do you want to know a secret, this morning i just do not care. i know what i have to do and i know what i have done and all in all, i can comfortably state, that all is well in my little corner of the world.
the ironic part of this reading, at least as i see it is, that i said the exact same thing to another addict a month ago, when asked what i thought about him being in a relationship with very little clean time. so now the microscope is turned back on me.
the reading speaks of inventories and doe use the plural form there, but what i am discovering is that endless inventories are not effective, unless, i take what i find and move forward in the process of change. i have whittles my list of character defects down to a single one, and now all i have to do, is finish my assignment and make an appointment with my sponse, to move on. my part, is to make sure that i have not identified a feeling and if it is a feeling, than to dig a bit deeper to find the belief or attitude causing that feeling. it certainly was evident when i writing about finding the care of a HIGHER POWER yesterday, and i am sure it will become even clearer as i let go, surrender this defect into the care of that POWER.
so before it gets much later, i will say that this journey of uncovery to discover the real person inside this skin, has certainly been interesting of late. as i move into STEP SEVEN, i doubt that it will get any less interesting as the process continues. so off to the shower and back to work, to see how much i can really accomplish as this day goes on.
∞ DT ∞