Blog entry for:
Tue, Nov 30, 2004 05:15:21 AM
intimacy and humility
posted: Tue, Nov 30, 2004 05:15:21 AM
so it is impossible to be intimate without being honest and being who you are.
when i got here, intimacy was something i did in bed with the current flavor of the moment and had absolutely nothing to do with being honest or showing who i truely was. in fact the contrary was true, to bed that current flavor i was notably dishonest and without any desire to show what and who i was.
i was in for a BIG shock when i got here and those who were her started to tell me that intimacy was not about SEX, but was about letting them in and letting them see me how i was, warts and all! i have discovered over the course of my journey that i both desire and need intimacy and fear it. this dichotomy colored my life forever and is only now becoming resolved. i feared being intimate because i desired it so much. since being intimate would mean showing who i was and not who i thought you wanted to see, how could you possible want to be close to someone as flawed and bad as me.
today i have learned a bit of humility and while not entirely happy with who i am, at least i can accept that i am who i am and to form deep intimate relationships i need to honestly be the best person i can today.
-- DT --
when i got here, intimacy was something i did in bed with the current flavor of the moment and had absolutely nothing to do with being honest or showing who i truely was. in fact the contrary was true, to bed that current flavor i was notably dishonest and without any desire to show what and who i was.
i was in for a BIG shock when i got here and those who were her started to tell me that intimacy was not about SEX, but was about letting them in and letting them see me how i was, warts and all! i have discovered over the course of my journey that i both desire and need intimacy and fear it. this dichotomy colored my life forever and is only now becoming resolved. i feared being intimate because i desired it so much. since being intimate would mean showing who i was and not who i thought you wanted to see, how could you possible want to be close to someone as flawed and bad as me.
today i have learned a bit of humility and while not entirely happy with who i am, at least i can accept that i am who i am and to form deep intimate relationships i need to honestly be the best person i can today.
-- DT --
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
α changing direction ω 351 words ➥ Wednesday, November 30, 2005 by: donnotΔ in recovery, i learn how to trust others. intimacy requires me to lower my defenses. δ 463 words ➥ Thursday, November 30, 2006 by: donnot
… intimacy is a part of life, and therefore a part of living clean, like everything in recovery, has its price. … 461 words ➥ Friday, November 30, 2007 by: donnot
∞ the total honesty of intimacy often brings its own complications. but the … 323 words ➥ Sunday, November 30, 2008 by: donnot
« intimacy is the sharing of my innermost thoughts and feelings with another human being » 208 words ➥ Monday, November 30, 2009 by: donnot
‹ sharing with others keeps me from feeling isolated and alone › 546 words ➥ Tuesday, November 30, 2010 by: donnot
♦ i seek the freedom from isolation and loneliness that intimacy brings ♦ 560 words ➥ Wednesday, November 30, 2011 by: donnot
∪ to share my innermost self with others ∪ 529 words ➥ Friday, November 30, 2012 by: donnot
≥ in active addiction, i learned to guard myself from others ≤ 668 words ➥ Saturday, November 30, 2013 by: donnot
† based on my regular inventories of myself , 984 words ➥ Sunday, November 30, 2014 by: donnot
😈 sharing the real me 😇 492 words ➥ Monday, November 30, 2015 by: donnot
😎 i will be 😎 623 words ➥ Wednesday, November 30, 2016 by: donnot
🔥 the warmth 🔥 578 words ➥ Thursday, November 30, 2017 by: donnot
🚶 my journey 🚶 657 words ➥ Friday, November 30, 2018 by: donnot
🌜 becoming completely 🌛 569 words ➥ Saturday, November 30, 2019 by: donnot
💣 guarding myself 💣 442 words ➥ Monday, November 30, 2020 by: donnot
🌪 the total 🌥 405 words ➥ Tuesday, November 30, 2021 by: donnot
🏜 feeling 🏜 401 words ➥ Wednesday, November 30, 2022 by: donnot
🧡 listening 🧠 401 words ➥ Thursday, November 30, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
3) Therefore a sage has said,
'He who accepts his state's reproach,
Is hailed therefore its altars' lord;
To him who bears men's direful woes
They all the name of King accord.'