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i know that it really does pass. no matter what i feel, attempting to change that feeling, at least in my experience, is a losing proposition. as difficult as it may seem at the time, i have learned through my journey, that the payoff for trying to change my feelings is never worth the effort it takes. as cruel as it feels at the time, remembering that “this too shall pass,” certainly provides a path for letting go of how miserable i feel, just for today.
what really helps me, more than anything else, is the notion that i no longer have to judge a feeling as “positive” or “negative.” as simple as that idea may sound, implementing it in my life has been a long, tortuous and sometimes failure-ridden process. where i started this process at, was looking at the labels i applied. what i uncovered for me anyhow, was the feelings i labelled as “positive” were those that were pleasurable to me. once i could separate painful and pleasurable and substitute those terms for the labels i had been taught, the path to removing my feelings from the judgement process began. i am far from perfect at that process, but a conscious application of it, on a daily basis, has began to cement it into my repertoire of recovery actions.
i know when i suggest a similar course of action to my peers, they often look at me with disgust and confusion. i have learned that many are not ready to decouple labels from their feelings and it is not my job to “show them the light.” my job is to work towards the light of seeing all feelings for what they are understand that no matter how intense they may be, they will pass, given enough time. any attempts i make at speeding that process up only makes it worse. right here and right now, i am grateful that i took my walk earlier, before the temperature dropped below freezing and the wet concrete got slick. the rest of the day? well i will see what i can do to adhere to my fitness program, probably lots of stairs as it is not getting any more pleasant to be outside.

∞ DT ∞