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for this addict anyhow is certainly an accomplishment, even if it just means i keep doing the next right thing and move along. a **funny** thing happened on my way to put my feelings down into words, this morning. i was going to pound out a bit of a screed about how over the top and melodramatic this reading sounded to me this morning. it does err a bit on the side of hyperbole, BUT, when i consider my life in recovery, i know it has been quite a bit of time, since feelings such as the ones described in the reading, have affected me to the point of considering a quick “fix.”
once upon a time, my recovery certainly had moments, days and yes even weeks when feelings such as the ones described in the reading ruled my life. somewhere i heard the word of maybe i was looking at those feelings in the wrong manner and i needed to let go of what i judged to be “positive and negative” and embrace the feelings themselves, with the certainly that they would play themselves out. that was one of the most difficult journeys i have ever undertaken in my recovery. the fact that i survived and found a new way of living through my feelings, rather than “dealing” with them, or changing the way i feel, is a testament to the power of recovery. as i let go of how i was feeling, my feelings lost their power over me. i could respond to how i was feeling rather than react and most of the time, my response is to sit on my hands and do nothing.
as i want to get a walk in , finish cleaning up the bedroom project and watch some football, i think i will wrap this up by saying that old trite but true bromide: “this too shall pass.”

∞ DT ∞