Some memes

of my highest dreams, quite a statement and one that i often find a bit troubling. on most days, i am unsure what my **highest dreams** just may be. as a result of my uncertainly, i often find myself acting the same as i always do and expecting results of a different kind. part of that **insanity** is my passive-aggressive job search. what the last week demonstrated quite clearly to me, is that IF i want something different, i will need to sharpen my skills and take the code i submitted, to the next level. what that means is that i spend time each week, honing my skills and developing that particular exercise into something a but more robust, so the next time i am asked for a code sample r demo, i am better prepared. my significant other may have thought i had no “fun” last week, but the trials and tribulations of “heads-down” development was a nice break from what i generally do at my job. whether or not the company i was writing that little bit of code for, decides to talk to me any further, is beyond my control. i can be okay with the fact i completed the assignment.
returning to my job today feels good, for some odd reason. perhaps i am one of those people, who require a strongly structured life and going to work every day, provides that framework. i could take another three days off to “recover” from my stay-cation, as hiking 23 miles and over 6000 ft of vertical elevation, has beat me up from the floor up. i would not trade those two experiences for anything, as it demonstrated to me, that i can achieve an ideal of being able to hike with friends, regardless of the length or pitch of the trails they choose. it is true that my feet are a mess, and that i am going to have to work on the means to take better care of them, but overall, this morning, i feel mostly pain-free and have no NSAID medications on-board. that situation may change as the day progresses, but i am quite pleased with my physical status right now.
all of that aside, i am ready to face the issues at work that have been “working my last nerve.” i have a bit of perspective of how well off i am, doing what it is i am doing. when i left for my little break, i had a feeling of having no desire to return. i was secretly hoping for the POWERBALL fairy to wave its magic wand and put me in position of wealth enough to be able to choose what work i did. today as i wrap this up and prepare for my daily commute, i am sort of, kind of glad, that did not come to pass, as what i GET is what i have earned through my own industry. that feeling may not last, but i am going with for now and allow the day to unfold as it will.

∞ DT ∞