Blog entry for:

my thinking that developed in our active addiction are slowly and surely being replaced through living a program of active recovery. it is quite true, that i can fall into self-centered obsession and entitlement, at the drop of a hat. it is also quite true that i can minutes, hours or days without dropping into that particular pit of pain and destruction. the simple fact that i can recognize and avoid those traps, is a sign of growth and certainly provides the HOPE i need to walk through this day. after all, if i was not getting any better, WTF is the point of the work i do on a daily basis.
this morning, as i sit to pound this out, i wonder if i should feed the troll that has invaded m y Twitter timeline. i truly hate giving them the last word and the irony is, that they accused me of being a hypocrite, because i posted something sarcastic to their snowflake response to my tweet. imagine that, a MAGAt whining about someone using sarcasm, as if i need to be held to a higher standard than they are. anyone who starts a reply with “this makes you look dumb” has little room to talk. i know my tweets are public and i allow others to reply, so i have to expect seeing some comments from those who have drank the Kool-Ade. in reality, as part of my inventory last night i decided that i did not need to feed this troll, by escalating this battle of words until this snowflake melted, as i had already rented far too much space in my head to them already. as i worked out, once again the notion to crunch, kill and destroy entered my, but what would be the payoff? i might feel superior for a minute, reveling in the ecstasy of seeing the wreckage i left behind, as i did in the bad old days. i am however, better than that today and i no longer need outside validation to feel good about myself, especially at the expense of others. i am more than i have ever been and today, i want to live up to my ideals, which does include using sarcasm and cynicism.
it is time to get rolling on my stuff for my employer. i may still “slip” today if i allow myself to get “triggered.” i, however may be different, but, i refuse to be WEIRD, just for today.

∞ DT ∞