Blog entry for:

well what do you know, here i sit thinking about a morning meditation as if it was the first time i read it! amazing that i have skimmed something that seems extremely important today. i have been living in the haze of self-deception and remorse over the past couple of weeks and here all of a sudden is the slap on the ass that i needed to come to life again.
i mouth the words ‘doing the next right thing,’ that i learned what seems centuries ago, and what i need to be thinking was ‘doing the right thing FOR THE RIGHT REASONS!’ the reading this morning was like a tactical nuclear strike against the wall of my indifference and callous self-will and i finally have a grasp on a concept that has been missing in my life for quite a bit of time. do not get me wrong, it is not like i run around imposing my will and opinions on the entire unwilling world, those days are long past. rather i find myself manipulating and subtly imposing that same will on those who are the closest to me, those with whom i have a bit of influence and those who have come to respect me.
so what do i do now?????????????
well i could plow my way through life ignoring what has been going on inside and outside of me OR i could start an active process of replacing self-will with goodwill; looking for service opportunities as the occur in my daily life, and doing the RIGHT THING FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. an interesting choice! well my tenth step just got another question, because for me that is the best way for me to monitor the ongoing process of active recovery from the disease of addiction, and just the thought of having to write about self-will versus goodwill every day will allow me to make the choices i have been missing and continue to grow in this new direction.
growth or stagnation, i guess the choice is mine today!

∞ DT ∞