Blog entry for:

for nothing, what is wrong with that? i look around me, in this pandemic world and it seems everyone is in the process of getting whatever they can get and screwing everyone else of the chance to get what they may need, so why should i live a principled life and get what i can afford and actually need? why not lust for, obsess over and compulsively reach for whatever i can get for FREE!
having a prime example of a person who cannot or will not support themselves, in my face every day and watching how they feel more entitled, day by day, i get a sense of gratitude that i have learned to live in another world. a world where i GET to have a job, i GET a paycheck that keeps the lights on, the water running, the internet humming along and a roof over my head. all that i have today is a gift of recovery. i might want to believe that i am a “free spirit” and not dependent on anyone, but the truth in this pandemic world, is that i highly dependent on the supply chain to keep those groceries flowing to the stores. i am dependent on those who keep the electricity and natural gas flowing into my house. and yes even the rapacious cell phone carriers to allow me to be connected to my friends and family members.
the question, what is the big deal about getting something for nothing, goes directly to how i live my life today. sure i like FREE stuff, in reality, there is always a cost. even those whop have stripped the stores bare, because they decided they needed thousands of rolls of toilet paper, are paying the price, in social condemnation and the pain knowing they acted in a manner that is not conducive to the social good. whether or not they can sleep at night, is not my concern, i know that when i go on the scavenger hunts that grocery shopping has become, i ask myself whether i need this and how much do i really need of this? when it is last item on the shelf, the answer is always YES and when it is one of a few items remaining the answer is ALL OF THEM! when my recovery kicks in, the answer may change as i have grown a social conscious over the days i have been clean, and the weight of stripping a store shelf bare, is not one i want to bear today.
moving into the here and now, emulating a leech is not how i see myself today. being angry at my fellow citizens in these weird and unsettling times, is not worth the effort. letting my elected officials know how badly i think they f*cked up their response to the unfolding disaster and continued to lie about how “perfect” they handled the warnings, before the country got into such dire straits, does not make me feel much better, but it is certainly my right as a citizen and one i can choose to exercise. yes, they need to be blamed and shamed into doing the next right thing, but i have a feeling that all of those i have touched upon, in this little piece of screed, are so wrapped up in selfish face-saving that the rationalizations and justifications are flying, just for today.

∞ DT ∞