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the whole concept of GOD and a HIGHER POWER was so foreign to me when i cam to recovery that i was unable to even begin to understand what steps two and three were asking from me. after all, the whole ‘GOD’ construct was created by people who were to scared to face the realities of life and the inevitability of death. in fact, every concept of the divine assigned human characteristics and gave ‘GOD’ a face and personality, so in my rationally dismissing mind it had to all come down to a quaint superstition. and of course i was far to rational and educated to believe in superstition, how many black cats crossed my path during my lifetime without consequences.
part of that attitude carries forth today, i have a problem when i hear my peers and associates assigning gender, and human personality traits to GOD. the difference is that i no longer dismiss the concept as superstitious. i accept that they understand GOD in whatever manner they need to, in order to use that HIGHER POWER to help them in their recovery. personally, i have drifted away from having to have all the answers about the POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS. what i do understand is that POWER exists and provides opportunities for me to transcend the mundane world and glimpse at the possibilities beyond my physical senses. i do need to have an understanding about how the whole system works and am unconcerned about what happens to my unique essence upon my demise, i believe that if i do my best to live by the spiritual principles i have been given i can have a life worth living and get through this life with a minimum of added damage to the world around me and the creatures with whom i share it. the belief that some force is guiding my life is comforting, but ultimately how i live is a matter of the choices i make on a moment to moment basis. making those choices based on a spiritual program allows me to be more human and enjoy the rewards of daily living, even when those rewards are not readily apparent. so if you are struggling with trying to define a HIGHER POWER because the one you have been living with is not to your liking, let go and open your mind to the possibilities that there is more than is beyond your past understanding happening all around you. if this over-educated cynical intellectual can find the comforting force of THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS -- so can you!

∞ DT ∞