Blog entry for:

come to my own understanding of a POWER that can fuel my recovery!
well i have certainly been here before, and more than likely i will come here again. where am i at? Niwot Park and Ride, of course, but more importantly, looking at what i believe and how that fits into my life. i do love the fact, that once i got to where i belong, the whole force-feeding of a “GOD” ceased. i arrived at a place where it is just a very strong suggestion rather than a requirement that i find a POWER greater than myself to place my FAITH in, as i continue on this journey. because of that subtle difference, i could and do remain firmly entrenched in the rooms and i can and will allow others to find their path to a similar spot.
there are times, in meetings when i feel like a boundary has been crossed, and others following their path, seem to want to impart that path upon me. at those times i have a choice, either go to self-righteous indignation, which is always a comfortable place to preach down from the mountain top from, or let it go, listen to what they bare sharing, not the words but the intent and the message behind the words and learn something about them and most importantly myself. after all, just as i am allowed the freedom to find my path, so must i allow others to do the same. yes that is a must, something i NEED to do, to stay clean and an application of the spiritual principles that keep me grounded in the rooms.
all of that being said, where am i today on this particular facet of my recovery? well i am feeling good about the POWER that fuels my recovery, for whatever reason the bus waited for me, as i was a minute or so late arriving at the bus stop. i can and often do attribute such acts of kindness to the POWER that keeps me clean, today however, i felt it was act of human kindness, spiritual in nature but not necessarily set-up by some sort of personal GOD. i am not a believer in signs and such, but i do my best to listen for the voice of the POWER that fuels my recovery, as i walk through my day. the irony here, is how weird that sounds to someone as rational as i like to believe i am. rational belief in a POWER that fuels my recovery, sounds like oxymoron, and perhaps it is. more likely it is just an accumulation of beliefs based on the sum of my experiences from the day i was forced to commence my journey up this path. i make no bones about that. outside forces forced me into recovery and kept me here, until a paradigm shift occurred, and for that i am grateful today.
the real joy for me, is that i am NOT stuck in a single track when it comes to the POWER that fuels my recovery and my relationship with that POWER. being outside of any organized religion in my spiritual path, allows me a freedom beyond my wildest dreams. being flexible enough to allow that definition and RELATIONSHIP TO CHANGE KEEPS ME GROWING IN A DIRECTION THAT IS NOT ONLY BENEFICIAL BUT DESIRED BY ME. allowing others that same freedom, is something i struggle with, after all, i have been doing this gig…
the real trick for me, is to not only allow others to find their own path, but to be open-minded ion HOW they express their experience with that path, even if it is one that i find personally distasteful. all are welcome and it is up to me to allow myself to be welcoming, there is more than a good chance that those i want to tolerate the least are the very ones who have the most to teach me today. so as i am approaching the end of the road, i will sign off with the thought that just for today, it is a good thing to have a POWER in my life to fuel my recovery and provide me the opportunities to get everything that i may need.

∞ DT ∞