Blog entry for:

make my life comfortable and i would be lying if i stated that possessions, at least for me, do provide a bit of comfort. i may not be an all out blatant materialist, but i am still attached to my **things** and can dip into the pool of **new, bright and shiny,** to **fix** whatever it is, that i do not want to feel. that is the bad news, the good news? well, i have found a spiritual path that fits and a fitness program that allows me to continue my amends to myself, leading to a state of being that requires less and less retail therapy. after thousands of days clean, i am finally coming to the place where keeping up with my peers, is not what i am always about anymore. life in my skin is more comfortable than it has ever been and even though i am moving into that dreaded final thirty days of my annual recovery cycle, my insanity and uncertainly is at an all time low!
what i am feeling today, is a sudden urge to get some sort of a “normal” life going. i am not about to start commuting to the office, nor am i going into an enclosed space with others who choose not to follow the current CDC guidelines, but dang it all, i miss being around people. so i want something more and maybe a dive in Fantasy Football may be just the sort of diversion and social interaction i crave. getting that football moving, has put me off my daily schedule and of course, i am feeling a bit out of sorts. instead of taking my own inventory and beating myself up for not cramming everything into the time i “allotted,” i can take comfort in knowing i am doing something that might relieve a bit of the angst i feel about this never-ending new “normal.” i am after all i am powerless over a whole lot and COVID-19 is part of that package. i take what steeps i need to take. i live a life that is far from ideal, but i am still free. i take comfort in knowing that my “bubble” is safe and safe to socialize with, on a continuing basis. all of that leads me back to a program of recovery and the hugest part of what i am powerless over, ADDICTION!
so a new computer, new car or new something is not what this addict requires this morning. money is nice and having a roof over my head and food in my belly, is quite a feat, these days. worry about what may come, will serve me no good, so right here and right now, i think i will get off of Amazon, and get out to the streets to burn some calories and clear a bit of the grunge from my head. in the mean time, i am fVCKING READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL! 😁

∞ DT ∞