Blog entry for:

of a reward, is not a notion that comes naturally to me. even some of my peers who spout off how they live by spiritual principles and are enamored with all that a life in recovery has to offer, often speak of the “rewards” they are driven to seek by maintaining their recovery. as much as i would love to say that the accumulation of material things and what i may need to do to get them does not drive me, to do so would be, simply put, a lie. what i can say, is that when i feel as if i just need to go out and buy me something., i take a pause, breathe and ask myself if this is something i actually do need, will it be something i can use, or will it end up in my closet of unused toys, after the thrill of purchasing it wears off? i have been a volunteer to the life of retail therapy, especially in my early recovery when i had all sorts of money left over, as i was no longer using.
this morning, i am stepping out of my normal routine and heading out for a hike, which certainly will bring its share of pain, suffering and yes more than a modicum of joy. i have been having a strong desire to hit the trails this summer and today will be a good test of my level of fitness. i can experience the joy of being “above it all,” just for today, as my life on the ground will still be here when i return this afternoon.

∞ DT ∞