Blog entry for:

shedding some bad habits. looking at my current life, through that lens, does lend a bit of perspective about who i am and what has happened to me across the course of my recovery. the reading is all about the HIGHER POWER stuff and although i am not one of those who attributes all the stuff that is my life today, to anything beyond the mundane, i can say that i do have a direction that seems to come from the POWER that fuels my recovery. as i recover from two peaks in two days and the disappointment of not being able to do number three yesterday, i can certainly “feel” that there is something more working in my life, other than my stubborn will. if i had not got clean and surrendered to the program that gave me this life, i certainly would not be pounding this out this morning.
part of what this life has given me is connections, friends and certainly the ability to care for others:

Scott K.,
CONGRATS on SEVEN (7) years clean.
Thank you for dragging me up FIVE 14er's this summer!

i am also discovering that when i CHOOSE to do something different, the consequences are often to my liking.
yesterday, i got a call, while i was on the MT Shavano, looking for some help, a few weeks in the future. i decided then and there, that was not the time to take that call from my peer and listened to the voice mail they left. i am grateful that i made that snap decision, as i am, not sure, what i am willing to offer. it did come up on my abbreviated TENTH STEP and bubbled to the surface again this morning. i am still not sure what direction to go, but at least i need to return that call, after i work out and get my work done. i will allow the POWER that fuels my recovery to guide me here, as in m y own mind, i would choose to ignore the call and the request and let the chips fall where they will.
right here and right now? time to walk off some of the stiffness two days of hiking has wreaked upon my body. it is a good day to be clean and have some sort of direction in my life.

∞ DT ∞