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well, different. sitting here this morning, i am beginning to wonder when i will be able to get my work-out done. my client is reporting issues with a connection, and of course they have done little or no research on their side, to see if it is possibly their issue. i have a feeling that someone on their side “fat-fingered” a password and now that user account is locked out, but until i hear back from others, i can neither confirm nor deny that theory. which sort of kind of, brings me back around to the topic. when sh!t happens in my life, for most of my life, i was certain i was born under a “bad sign,” or a victim of forces beyond my control. it was never, ever, my fault. no matter how i sliced or diced it, i did not have to look at my actions, attitudes or theories. after forcing them to actually do some work and check out what may be happening on their side, i see my theory may be flawed and now need help from my side, not that much different from life in recovery.
today, as i consider how different my life has been lately, i move into a place of entitlement that i have gone through enough, been tested long enough and need a break from the issues life is throwing at me.i after all, i stay clean, no matter what. i do the next right thing, time and again. i live a program of active recovery. when do i get a break? i can fall back on all the clichés and accept, i can fight like hell and apply self-will or i can just quietly wait to see what comes out of all this. as sit here this morning, dealing with an issue created by my company, i am frustrated that my plan of the day has been interrupted. i do not get to run and i will reschedule my sponsee meeting this morning. not the curve-ball i was expecting when i got online. steeper and narrower as it may be, that path does get a bit tiring and even with a few minutes clean.
where does that leave me this morning? well, i am on a call with my company's team not having to fade the heat from the client. i am clean and have let go of running in the near future. i have asked my sponsee to reschedule our get together and i GET to pound this little ditty out. what will come as this day progresses has yet to be determined, but i do know that i am dedicated to the proposition of staying clean and doing the next right thing. perhaps, the path will become a bit wider and less steep as the day grows old, but for right now, i can do what i need to do and be okay.

∞ DT ∞