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who i am and who i am not, so i can enjoy flexibility in my relationships, seems to be what i keep hearing these days.that trackless wasteland i used to describe myself with, in days past, is neither trackless not a wasteland in my mind's eye any more. allowing others to find their way through their own “trackless wastes,” is the message i am also getting tired of hearing. i guess it is a response to me asking for guidance as to how i can break someone free of the obsession based of a belief structure that looks immutable and perfectly correct in all its aspects. the fact of the matter is that my sponse could not help me see the sky, until i figured out that i was looking down into the mud of the lies i told myself so many times, that i accepted them as the “TRUTH.”
i have to say, that at this point in my journey, the world is shifting quickly around me. those who are the closest to me, emotionally and spiritually, seem to be getting closer. those who are not at aligned with who and what i am, seem to be drifting away and everyone else is somewhere on one of those infinite points in between those two extremes. where any of us are going is far from predetermined and there is HOPE that those from whom i am drifting away, will find something to attract me back into the sphere of influence. i am okay with the way things are going, but am a bit reluctant to put my finger on any sort of pattern here, except, perhaps to say, there does not seem to really be a pattern, even if it is not purely random. it is just a function of my uncovering myself from the fifty years or so of garbage that i have placed over the person i really am.
as i get ready to dive back into the project that keeps me moving in circles, i can let go of the expectations i have for myself and allow myself to perhaps, see a different direction, after all, i have solved most of the problems one way or another across the course of this project, it is time to put all those solution to work. just as i am learning who i am and what that person needs to be a success in his partnerships and relationships, so i can be of use to those with whom i work, just for today.

∞ DT ∞