Blog entry for:

of my life, my loves and myself is part of who i seem to be becoming. i did get a reply to the email i sent yesterday and it was less detailed than i desired, with the exception, that for me to take the job, i would have to take a big cut in pay. since i have yet to be offered any sort of job, i know that this is certainly one of those things i need to let go of, as i will be a very junior developer in that company. what it did kick off however, was the desire to get some fourteeners in, before i leave my current position. to that end, i am going to be seeing the world from the top of Quandary Peak, eight days from now, as my work load at my current position is such that i better use the wellness time that i have.
what i am also seeing is that i am not reacting well, to the behaviors of others, that i find disagreeable. after years of swallowing my feelings on that front, i no longer have the desire to do so. i am worth more than that and as i learn to value myself more, i am hesitant to let others treat me in a shabby manner. the problem here, is that i have yet to figure out, how to assertively address this issue, without pounding someone into dust. being quiet and walking away is working for them, but not so much for me.
what i do know, at least right here and right now, is that as i accept that those around me are used to the person i purported to be, they are as clueless as i am, about how i am becoming. i see that is certainly my fault, after living a lie for so long. instead of whining about it, i think it is time to breathe, let the POWER that fuels my recovery into my life and listen to what i am feeling, instead of forcing solutions that may not work out in even the short run. time to take myself around the neighborhood for my daily sweat fest. 🎽 🏃

∞ DT ∞