Some memes

loneliness of addiction, is not a topic i choose to share about, all that often. for me, being alone was the safest and yes the softest manner of living back in the day. even in early recovery, being alone was a choice i felt i had to make. i would have never said i was lonely, in any of those times, merely because i was incapable of naming my feelings and quite well-practiced at the art of denial. i learned at the hands of masters of that art and even today with a minute clean, i still can slip into denying feelings that i once deemed as “bad.” as i prepare to head over to Boulder and run the streets with sixty thousand or so other people, i know that this morning i am not alone and do not feel lonely and i understand the difference, thanks to this program of recovery. for those who may have an interest my Bib number is EH053 and i start my run at 7:34:10 AM MDT. before i jet off to the starting line, i will say that i am grateful for those who are in my life, even if they never seem to “get” me. it is their loss, not mine, as i have come to see that it takes work and perseverance to come out of my shell and embrace the world around me, just for today.

∞ DT ∞