Blog entry for:

will not end just because...
as i got quiet and still this morning, my head wound itself back to the little dust-up i was part of last Fall. in the long run, i ended up being correct and what should have been the original outcome, became reality. i was far from civil during the process, but as it came to a conclusion i accepted the results and moved on. the other party had a whole lot more personal fallout, whether they choose to see that they received what they sowed, but today, i am not 'writing about anyone else. today, i do see that i was incapable of helping to form a group conscience, that i did not agree with, at least at the start of the process. i doubt being more “compliant” to the wishes of the driving force would have made much difference, but it would have been a whole lot more pleasant for everyone else who got dragged through the mess i chose to make.
moving into the here and now, today as vacation looms closer and closer, i get to see what i can do at work to mark time until i take off. all my current projects are complete and the latest one will be moving into QA and code review this morning. even though i have two interviews this afternoon, i am not all that certain that i will seek a position in a new company. as much as i hate the drive, even just two days a week, i like the job, the work environment and the people i work with, heck even my Russian team mate is starting to warm-up to me. the money is good, the work challenging and the only thing lacking is paid time off. if it comes down to making a choice, which of course is future fVcking myself, i am not sure on which side i will want to land. once again, i am wondering how to manipulate those around me to get a result i desire, more money, paid time off, a few days in the office with less than a forty mile commute. the messages i am receiving is let go, trust the process and see what happens, after all, i am not even going to actively start looking for a new position until i get back from Ireland.
where does all of that leave me this morning. a bit sad that i could not drive a decision-making process without jumping hip deep into my own self-will. more than a bit excited that i have a job that gives me the resources to take a vacation at this time in my life. stressed about finding tasks to do to fill the hours i need to log, before i take off on a jet plane. and exuberant that Denver has three teams that have won national championships in 2022: the DU Pioneers, the Colorado Mammoth and of course the Colorado Avalanche. it is a good day to get out on the streets and get my “groove” on, before i sit and pound away at a keyboard for ten hours today.

∞ DT ∞