Blog entry for:

and their consequences, was certainly a great source of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt for me, even after being clean for a minute. over the past few years, especially the past eighteen months things have gotten a bit better for me, as i am now learning to live in a bit of FAITH, that i will know what the next correct decision i need to make, happens to be. now that the stress of being what i never was, for everyone around me has been somewhat removed from consideration, i can move with the sort of confidence i always wanted to project, but was always a façade i created for mass consumption. i am grateful this morning that i have men in my life to guide me on this journey and that i have stopped looking for the destination and started to experience the journey.

Jack W.
Fifteen (15) years clean!
Congrats my fellow traveler.
Joel K.
Eight (8) years clean
Congrats my friend and brother,
on making it through.

and so it goes…
as i drove through the masses of very slow moving cars this morning, i considered whether or not i really need to be seeking a new position. i have been “playing” the recruiters that are cold-calling me, knowing full well that unless an offer beyond my wildest dreams, comes down the pike, i will not be interested in leaving what i have found here. i like the team, i like the work, i love the salary, BUT i hate the commute and the little fiefdoms that huge corporations seem to have been built upon. the reality is that i have a whole lot of FREEDOM here and i have been exercising that freedom to the max. sure i would love an office that was half the distance from my home, but for right now, i have the best of all possible worlds, and i have to remember that, when i start peeking at the lawn on the other side of the fence.
the other thing that is on my mind, is fantasy football and how am i going to dominate two leagues this season. that is certainly a luxury concern and one i can let go until the time of making all those decisions is at hand. just for today, i will allow myself the freedom to dream, obsess and pretend i can foretell the future, making all the correct picks and playing the perfect lineup for the thirteen or fourteen weeks i “get” to play. as silly as that sounds, that is my biggest concern in the here and now, so i guess i will let it go and go upstairs to get my morning shot in the dark, it is after all, one of the perks of working here! 🤩

∞ DT ∞