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i will ask my Higher Power for the strength to act on those decisions. well it has been an interesting 24. i got a boatload of work done yesterday, my walmart.com dispute is still in the holding period and i am on an off day from my workouts. yes, i was a sh!t last night and it is an indication that my step work needs to be getting done, or a symptom that the SIXTH STEP IS WORKING ME!
before i go on, i need to do a shout-out

JACK W
IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE IT BUT,
you are an inspiration to us all
1826 (FIVE YEARS, MON) days in a row
i am glad you kept coming back and coming back clean!

where was i? that is correct decision-making and being guided by the spiritual principles contained in the 12 steps. i am beginning whether or not, my little trip to Loveland was a good decision. i could have stayed on, in my gig in Denver, until just about now, perhaps even longer. what i am feeling, is that IF had, i would have never got this side job done, or if i had, it would not be nearly as tight and professional, as it is becoming. i would love to have a full-time gig on the horizon, after 11 months of getting a steady paycheck, it is a bit disconcerting that i have to walk in FAITH, that i am right where i NEED to be. my side job is going well, and even though i thought i would be way done by now, i feel certain that i will meet their deadline as today is a critical day in my development process.
what has this done for me? an interesting question! for one, it has made me live within my means and perhaps the whole walmart.com adventure is a reminder that i NEED to stop buying everything i think i may want. i have also built my first application in an object-oriented “MVC” framework, which means nothing for most of you, but it is a skill-set that i sorely lacked and although this project is taking more hours than i thought it would, most of it is learning curve stuff. as i get the journeyman stuff done this week, i will have a bit of time to polish it up a bit more as the days go by. spiritually, however, i am having trouble seeing why i am here, when i want to be at a full-time steady gig. oh yeah, there is all that mysterious ways crap i could fall back on, which i feel is the refuge of the weak. what i do get now, as i write about this, is a sense of FAITH and just the tiniest modicum of acceptance that all of this is part of a process, that will make me a better employee and one that is worth every cent that i get. i am also getting the sense that even though i MAY not want to be where i am, i am right where i am supposed to be, just hold on, do the next right thing, and i will get exactly WHAT I NEED, WHEN I NEED IT!
with that in mind, i will remember what my friend Joe is fond of saying, “it is a good day to be clean,” and hit the shower, so i can move into the enxt phase of my day, slaving over a hot keyboard!

∞ DT ∞