๐ง maturity calls ๐ง
Posted: Thu, Nov 23, 2023 12:09:17 PM
for some humility and as i mature, i get that i am what i am and there is no longer a longing inside to be pretend to be more than that. on this day of giving thanks that those who came to this continent conquered and vanquished those that were already here, i can be a bit more grateful that the other three hundred and sixty four and a quarter days in a year. i know my history and my ancestors did their bit in taking what was given to them, even though they were late players to that debacle. the attitudes they carry about the indigenous population in their neck of the woods, is finally starting to diminish through the generations. i will however, wish all those who stumble on to this musing today, a Happy Thanksgiving and i hope that all of you can find something to be grateful for today.
on to the topic at hand. yes, i was certainly one of those who craved the spotlight and worked as hard as i could, to keep it focused on my service efforts. about a decade ago, my sponse suggested that maybe i was tying up too much of my identity in being of service and maybe, just maybe i might be better served, learning how to serve my fellows on the down-low. that road was tough at first, as i felt that i had lost at least a major part of one of limbs. as i went further and further from the spotlight, an amazing thing happened, more and more i was recognized for where and how i served, rather than the fact that i did serve. i finally left my last committee a few months ago and with that departure, there is a freedom that i never believed i would get. i just serve and no longer help create policy and for this addict, that is is the best part of serving my fellowship.
so it is time to get showered off and finish the holiday lighting display i began late yesterday afternoon. when i serve my peers this evening, i am certain that my heart will be full of good-will and gratitude as i hear the door locks click behind me. the good part is, that i will get out again and end up sleeping in my bed sometime around 9 PM, tonight, snow, ice and darkness be damned. it is a great day to serve ,more than myself and let go of the whys someone does something they could never get away with, no matter how hard they attempt to rationalize it away.
on to the topic at hand. yes, i was certainly one of those who craved the spotlight and worked as hard as i could, to keep it focused on my service efforts. about a decade ago, my sponse suggested that maybe i was tying up too much of my identity in being of service and maybe, just maybe i might be better served, learning how to serve my fellows on the down-low. that road was tough at first, as i felt that i had lost at least a major part of one of limbs. as i went further and further from the spotlight, an amazing thing happened, more and more i was recognized for where and how i served, rather than the fact that i did serve. i finally left my last committee a few months ago and with that departure, there is a freedom that i never believed i would get. i just serve and no longer help create policy and for this addict, that is is the best part of serving my fellowship.
so it is time to get showered off and finish the holiday lighting display i began late yesterday afternoon. when i serve my peers this evening, i am certain that my heart will be full of good-will and gratitude as i hear the door locks click behind me. the good part is, that i will get out again and end up sleeping in my bed sometime around 9 PM, tonight, snow, ice and darkness be damned. it is a great day to serve ,more than myself and let go of the whys someone does something they could never get away with, no matter how hard they attempt to rationalize it away.
∞ DT ∞