Blog entry for:

to (sometimes) say no or learning not to give into the immediate gratification of DESIRE. one of the hardest lessons i have learned time and again in recovery is to pause before i act. time after time in my life i have found that doing something to change the way i feel has consequences that i may find unacceptable. whether that is buying something on impulse, running away from a situation or reacting to an emotion.today, i wanted to get out of the house to enjoy the entire game at the cigar store, and when i was running late, i almost decided to take off and leave things undone. the result of caving into that desire is that i almost blocked my spouse from doing what she wanted to do. well, things worked out, but i still was anxious about doing so, and acted on what i wanted to do, instead of finishing my task and heading out a bit later.
when i read the headline in the source material this morning, i thought this was going to be all about setting boundaries and taking care of myself. it certainly was all about that, but it was more about me and my stuff, rather than what others were asking of me. anyhow, i survived, i got to enjoy the afternoon, finished my tasks, and finally found a moment to truly think about what my boundaries are with myself and my DESIRE. i understand that doing something to change the way i feel or cave into self-will, will not always have good results and if i take the time to allow myself the FREEDOM to consider, perhaps not yet or no is really the best course of action, just for today.

∞ DT ∞