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and the my spiritual awakenings and those of my peers, may or may not be similar in details, even though for fifteen years i tried my best to make mine look like those of everyone else. after all that wasted time and effort, when i came to find my path and awakened to the possibility that it would not look like anyone else's, i finally found the ways and means to feel more whole than ever before. just because i stayed clean for fifteen years with a spiritual path that mimicked that of my peers, it is a path i would not recommend to anyone. life in my skin in those days was always a bit off and certainly puckered in all the wrong places. in fact, until i found my path, i could never be freed from the slavery to the lie that i was broken and that i needed to look like everyone else, regardless of who i really was.
this morning i feel as if i have crossed a threshold into a new place of being more centered. i have another year in my position, i actually ran a whole lap, i mostly slept through the night and when disaster struck my oatmeal in the microwave, i accepted it in stride and reminded myself that it was not as if the world had been destroyed or would be because water boiled over. life in my skin, these days anyhow, is pretty damn good. i feel that i am going to be in shape to climb to the top of Africa and am making the financial moves i need to make to insure that i have a home to come back to. i am at the end of my PT appointments and i certainly feel that not only have they helped me return to form, they have given me something to carry forward into my daily life. i am grateful that i had the resources to get better and did not have to attempt to do so on my own. it is a good day to be clean and to allow the POWER that fuels my recovery to provide me the ways and means to be a better person and the desire to be open to what may come spiritually, just for today.

∞ DT ∞