Blog entry for:

this morning, well at least it was morning as i sat on this plane waiting to leave Amsterdam for Salt Lake City, i actually restarted my spiritual practice by doing my daily reading and meditating. i slept fairly well on my overnight from Africa to Europe, but now on the second of three legs of my journey back to reality, i am tiring of sitting on planes, even when i am being waited on hand and foot and i can lay down flat. the consequence of this, is now i am grumpy and out of sorts, which i know i need to leave behind as i complete my journey home. it may be true that being what i am not, may not be the best of all possible worlds, but hurting someone i love or treating someone poorly because i am not in tip-top shape is not in my spiritual interest.
what i heard this morning and all day since, is that i do not feel like i am the same man i was when i left Colorado thirteen days ago. i feel as if i truly had a life-changing experience and i am not quite sure whaat the end result happens to be. what i haave been able to glean, when i lett go, is thaat the changes are more than likely for the better and that i have developed a sense of actually feeling the loss of my parents. not that i have the desire to wallow in self-pity and grief, but i no longer “need” to be strong and stoic for those around me. i will take care of what i need to take care of, i will be protect the estate i have been left to deal with from all who would come begging with their hand out. when i complete the task of dividing those assets among my siblings, i will let the chips fall where they may. there may be one or more “hanger-ons” who do not recieve whaat they believe they may be entitled to, but they too will have to face the consequences of their decisions.
being who i am, doing what i say i will do, treating others with kindness and compassion and respecting who and what i am about today. just for today, i wil allow myself to seek fidelity in all my affairs and if someone feels slighted or disrespected that is on them.

∞ DT ∞